Three Years… a reflection

A reflection on three years…I tweeted this out late on December 10th, on the actual anniversary of losing my day job and reflecting on three years of self employment and doing this full time. It’s a bit more personal than I usually get but I would not be here with your support. 

“Three years ago today I came back to work IIT after a short trip. I was allowed to set up the office they knew I wasn’t about to stay in. Then let go on some bullshit, claiming there was a failure to improve after two + years. (Thread).

 It was especially heinous because my former boss saw me on the shuttle from Ogilvie that morning, that heiffer chatted me up asked about trip & acted like nothing was wrong.  Around noon, I get a call on my cell not my office phone. Anyone who’s gone through this knows the drill.  I was given some bullshit about my performance not improving. Except, I’d done a WiP, improved enough to get a retroactive raise after the WiP cycle was done. But they brought up 2 year old things in that meeting.

 I was furious y’all. Why the fuck didn’t you do this either before I left? Or waited till the end of the week? They didn’t even let me be back a whole day before canning me.  I told ex boss where to go, threw office keys, ID and uni credit card at her before leaving. I told the HR person to send my file so I could read it.  She was too busy trying to get me to sign off on some agreement that was bullshit as well. I refused and went to get my things; which wasn’t fast enough for them since the HR rep threatened to call police on me. 

 I wish she would have; since I hadn’t done more than cussed and raised my voice. I’d have given her ass a reason since she was so eager to call the cos.  I get home; someone forwards the lie of an email explaining my “departure” claiming I’d taken a new opportunity, so I forwarded it back to key people with the truth of how they fucked me over 10 days before Xmas & right after a trip.  Y’all I called a Lyft, got in with what I was able to grab and cried most of the way home. I had no real savings (shit, I still don’t) and was gonna be SOL for money. 

 I had to jump through hoops for the scraps of unemployment I got. I had to go through two phone interviews & then an office visit. Unemployment offices are dehumanizing by design I swear.  I had one of the worst holiday seasons of my life that year. I was legit ready to be Ike fuck everything; I’m done with this world. But I’m fortunate & grateful for y’all. 

 The second job that @INeedDivGms had become was an option. I had no idea if it would work; or if I’d be back on the hustle for a regular gig after failing to keep INDG running.  But whatever reputation I had built, the community and support for the work increased and I was able to do more; to get to a place where I was working for myself. INDG is now a 501(c)(3) and there’s so much more I can do.  I never thought I’d be here after that day three years ago. I thought I’d be stuck living with my mother or not here because times were that dark y’all. 

 I don’t know if I can go back to a regular gig or not in the future but for now I’m …making it. Not well, it’s not easy but for now I’m not at the mercy of a 9-5 that was slowly killing me.  I’m here thanks to the community that continues to support the work I do, what @INeedDivGms does & more. Thank you for keeping me here; afloat and reminding me why I do all of this.