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This was originally posted on Patreon on October 1, 2017 and is possible through the generosity of my Patrons.

So I’m not really on the woooo Cuphead is amazing and the way, truth and light of gaming train. It looks amazing but it also looks like the racist ass cartoons I remember seeing in re-runs as a kid. Its ridiculously difficult, and for me that’s just not fun. I have been good (mostly) about not wading into the discourse around it, because it’s not worth the hassle and the arguments about being a true gamer*.

I can’t escape the game, everyone is streaming it on Twitch and it’s all over social media. One friend finished the game after nearly two hours on the devilish final boss fight. So that came up on today’s episode of Gamertag radio (said friend is Danny Pena, one of the hosts). I brought up that if – HUGE – if here, I ever played it, it would be on simple mode. Someone in chat said it would be one of my greatest accomplishments this year!

Uh no, it wouldn’t. There’s not joy in playing a game so frustrating and difficult that people who whip through Dark Souls without a second thought are doing the same levels on repeat all in the name of Git Gud culture. It’s been on my mind all day since that off the cuff comment. I’m sure they didn’t mean anything buy it but it made me wonder about people who are so tied up in their identity as gamers that beating Cuphead *would* be a major achievement in lie of other things going on in their life. 

It made me wonder about the way so many people identify as gamers as if it were the same as race or gender, or orientation. The ways the their whole being is wrapped up in what they play, how good they are at X game, or if they have the best PC to game on and if they can’t do 4K Ultra HD, 1080P and 60 FPS then they aren’t a *real gamer*. Why do people do that? 

Why do people wrap up their value and worth in something like a digital landscape, a fairytale that at the end of the day is wholly fabricated world that they get to play in for the cost of anywhere from $20 – $800 and the prestige of owning a collectors edition or limited edition of whatever game they have tied themselves to in a frightening way.

I see it in how people act about fandoms and games and how they nerd/cred check people if they haven’t spent whatever proscribed amount they have decided makes one a true fan, to gate keep and tell others they can’t play in the same sandbox we’ve all paid to play in. 

I may expand on this more later or depending on what comes in the comments, make this a short video for October. What are you thoughts on gaming and identity, along the lines of not liking, or loving games a bit too much?

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Published by cypheroftyr

Tanya DePass is the founder and Director of I Need Diverse Games, a not-for-profit organization based in Chicago, which is dedicated to better diversification of all aspects of gaming. I Need Diverse Games serves the community by supporting marginalized developers, attendance at the Game Developer Conference by participating in the GDC Scholarship program, helps assist attendance at other industry events, and is seeking partnership with organizations and initiatives. Tanya is a lifelong Chicagoan who loves everything about gaming, #INeedDiverseGames spawn point, and wants to make the industry better and more inclusive for everyone. She’s part of the Rivals of Waterdeep actual play stream on twitch.tv/rivalsofwaterdeep, a partnered Twitch variety broadcaster; and often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics online, at conventions and as a public speaker.. She’s also contributed to publications at Green Ronin, Paizo and Monte Cook Games and is the co-developer for the Fifth Season RPG based on N.K. Jemisin’s three time Hugo award winning Broken Earth trilogy. She’s the creator and Creative Director of Into the Mother Lands, a Twitch supported RPG and Actual Play stream, airing weekly on her channel, twitch.tv/cypheroftyr. Additionally, she is a Senior Annenberg labs Civic Media Fellow at USC. She’s also the creator and Creative Director of Into the Mother Lands, a new sci fi afro-futurist RPG developed with a team of all POC and Black creators; live streamed on her twitch channel, /cypheroftyr. She’s named as one of The Game Awards Future Class 2020, a diverse group of builders, thinkers and dreamers whose voices elevate and diversify our artform. It recognizes individuals around the world who represent the bright, bold and inclusive future for video games. She was also named as one of Gamers of the Year 2020 by Kotaku along with three of her contemporaries. She was also invited to the Xbox MVP program in February 2021. Her work to make the industry more inclusive has been highlighted in Game Changer, Directed by Tina Charles, WNBA star & olympian as well as filmmaker. The short documentary premiered at Tribeca 2021, as part of the Queen Collective; an initiative started by Queen Latifah, supported by Proctor & Gamble in an effort to get more Black women into film making. Game Changer was also featured as part of BETHer’s 2021 Juneteenth Programming on 19 June 2021. Tanya is the programming & diversity coordinator for OrcaCon and GaymerX. She also serves on the Board of Directors for OrcaCon and was named the Chair for Take This in January 2023. She often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics at conventions. Her writing about games and games critique appears in Uncanny Magazine, Polygon, Wiscon Chronicles, Vice Gaming, Paste Games, Mic, and other publications. She’s the editor of Game Devs and Others: Tales from the Margins (2018, CRC Press) and contributed to The Advanced Game Narrative Toolbox. (2019, CRC Press) Writer Bio for pubs: Tanya is the Founder and Director of I Need Diverse Games, a not-for-profit organization based in Chicago. She’s part of Rivals of Waterdeep, an actual play D&D show on twitch.tv/rivalsofwaterdeep; the programming coordinator for OrcaCon & GaymerX; and often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics at conventions. She’s on the Board of Take This as well as a Stream Ambassador, and was part of the inaugural cohort of The Game Awards Future Class. Her work to make the industry more inclusive has been highlighted in Game Changer, Directed by Tina Charles, WNBA star & olympian as well as filmmaker. The short documentary premiered at Tribeca 2021, as part of the Queen Collective; an initiative started by Queen Latifah, supported by Proctor & Gamble in an effort to get more Black women into film making. Game Changer was also featured as part of BETHer’s 2021 Juneteenth Programming on 19 June 2021.