Just got linked to this post about a new film on trans-racial adoptions. It’s called Neither Here nor There, How far she’s come. It’s chilling to read the bits about how the adoptive mother grills her new “daughter” on English to the point where the girl is exhausted and asks to go home in Chinese. It’s disgusting that this woman who seems to have adopted Chinese daughters as trophies of her “goodness” & color-blindness rather than trying to actually help these young girls from any sense of doing what’s right for another human being. It will premiere in the US in PBS on August 31 and I’ll be watching.

I find it telling that the girl lose all of her Chinese, and is constantly compared to the other little girl that this woman has adopted. I’ve got a lot of opinions on trans-racial adoptions most of which are not particularly pleasant or thoughtful. But one constant seems to be that I come across folks online that adopt babies and children of color and/or not of their nationality as trophies of their goodness, color blindness and look at me saving those poor brown folks, giving them a “better life” albeit one modeled on the “norms” of white, American and forgetful of their roots.

Granted, not everyone that adopts outside of their race/nationality has such ulterior motives or means well, 9/10 of our reality is perception not truth. All I can base my perceptions on is what I see.  Too often I see white women who adopt brown and other non-white children, with no thoughts as to what that child will deal with when they are older, when the differences between “mommy” and the child can no longer be swept under the rug. Or what they will do when that child comes home after being called a racial slur for the first time, or worse if they witness racism committed against their adopted child and they have no coping mechanisms to pass on, no advice since they’ve never had the honor of shopping while black, or driving while black or having so many assumptions made on your intelligence, abilities, etc because of the color of your skin and all the baggage that comes with it.

It’s a heavy burden to bear and I wish people would weigh the luggage they are going to take on when they adopt that poc/non-white child along with the idea that they are doing their part by “saving these poor kids” from their poor roots. In my humble opinion, it would help everyone be prepared for what will come as these children grow up in a society that is anything but post-racial and color blind despite having a black POTUS.

Bah, I’m getting rambly and unfocused but I hope you got my point. If not feel free to say so in the comments.

Keep it civil or I’ll boot you so fuckin fast your head will spin away like the Tardis.

Published by cypheroftyr

Tanya DePass is the founder and Director of I Need Diverse Games, a not-for-profit organization based in Chicago, which is dedicated to better diversification of all aspects of gaming. I Need Diverse Games serves the community by supporting marginalized developers, attendance at the Game Developer Conference by participating in the GDC Scholarship program, helps assist attendance at other industry events, and is seeking partnership with organizations and initiatives. Tanya is a lifelong Chicagoan who loves everything about gaming, #INeedDiverseGames spawn point, and wants to make the industry better and more inclusive for everyone. She’s part of the Rivals of Waterdeep actual play stream on twitch.tv/rivalsofwaterdeep, a partnered Twitch variety broadcaster; and often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics online, at conventions and as a public speaker.. She’s also contributed to publications at Green Ronin, Paizo and Monte Cook Games and is the co-developer for the Fifth Season RPG based on N.K. Jemisin’s three time Hugo award winning Broken Earth trilogy. She’s the creator and Creative Director of Into the Mother Lands, a Twitch supported RPG and Actual Play stream, airing weekly on her channel, twitch.tv/cypheroftyr. Additionally, she is a Senior Annenberg labs Civic Media Fellow at USC. She’s also the creator and Creative Director of Into the Mother Lands, a new sci fi afro-futurist RPG developed with a team of all POC and Black creators; live streamed on her twitch channel, /cypheroftyr. She’s named as one of The Game Awards Future Class 2020, a diverse group of builders, thinkers and dreamers whose voices elevate and diversify our artform. It recognizes individuals around the world who represent the bright, bold and inclusive future for video games. She was also named as one of Gamers of the Year 2020 by Kotaku along with three of her contemporaries. She was also invited to the Xbox MVP program in February 2021. Her work to make the industry more inclusive has been highlighted in Game Changer, Directed by Tina Charles, WNBA star & olympian as well as filmmaker. The short documentary premiered at Tribeca 2021, as part of the Queen Collective; an initiative started by Queen Latifah, supported by Proctor & Gamble in an effort to get more Black women into film making. Game Changer was also featured as part of BETHer’s 2021 Juneteenth Programming on 19 June 2021. Tanya is the programming & diversity coordinator for OrcaCon and GaymerX. She also serves on the Board of Directors for OrcaCon and was named the Chair for Take This in January 2023. She often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics at conventions. Her writing about games and games critique appears in Uncanny Magazine, Polygon, Wiscon Chronicles, Vice Gaming, Paste Games, Mic, and other publications. She’s the editor of Game Devs and Others: Tales from the Margins (2018, CRC Press) and contributed to The Advanced Game Narrative Toolbox. (2019, CRC Press) Writer Bio for pubs: Tanya is the Founder and Director of I Need Diverse Games, a not-for-profit organization based in Chicago. She’s part of Rivals of Waterdeep, an actual play D&D show on twitch.tv/rivalsofwaterdeep; the programming coordinator for OrcaCon & GaymerX; and often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics at conventions. She’s on the Board of Take This as well as a Stream Ambassador, and was part of the inaugural cohort of The Game Awards Future Class. Her work to make the industry more inclusive has been highlighted in Game Changer, Directed by Tina Charles, WNBA star & olympian as well as filmmaker. The short documentary premiered at Tribeca 2021, as part of the Queen Collective; an initiative started by Queen Latifah, supported by Proctor & Gamble in an effort to get more Black women into film making. Game Changer was also featured as part of BETHer’s 2021 Juneteenth Programming on 19 June 2021.