Hmm, where to begin?

While I watch all of the recaps, all of the memorial footage and shots of emotional people reliving that tragedy, I wonder what would have happened if Flight 93 had made it to the hijackers intended destination? Would we have a stand in president now? Would we continue to have such restrictions on our movements when we travel? Would Muslim Americans be viewed with sanctioned prejudice as if each one was a terrorist waiting to strike?

I don’t know about that, what I do know and remember vividly is the fear that Chicago could be on the list of places to hit, that the Sears Tower or the Hancock building could topple as the towers had that morning. What I thought of was everyone I knew who also worked downtown, of Eric a few blocks away working in another “symbol of America’s power”… all the what if’s as I struggled to get away from the campus and away from what could have become another Ground Zero in short order.

The last few years, I’ve been able to deal with this event as it usually has happened on a work day so I’ve been able to observe, remember and reflect in relative peace but this year marks 6 years since the travesty that changed how we think, act and behave in this country.

This is what I wrote once I was with Eric, and felt more or less safe from what happened that day.

Hey everybody,

Well, the title says it all. I am afraid for the loss of life, innocence and false security that we all harbor as we go about our daily routines.

I sit here now at my friends place, listening to Dan Rather speak on this tragedy and assault on America.

I would like to be at my desk now, listening to student complaints about classes they need and must have otherwise the world will end. Now, I wish I didn’t use that phrase so often. It now seems that the world is indeed ending or at least heading into a downward spiral into armegeddon.

Instead, I am here writing this to purge myself of the fear I have acquired within the last few hours. As I hear the news reports of destruction and death and hysteria within my home country, not in some remote location; but in New York, not far from here.Now, I feel terror.

How apt is it that the term used for the acts that have robbed me of my security as a person and as an American is terrorism. Because what I feel is terror, plain and simple.

It is so appropriate that we use that word. Since the Oklahoma bombing, the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center, we have been living with the thinly veiled threat of terrorist actions.

This horrific day will remain with me for a very long time. I hate to say this, but for a long time, I will watch all those around me for signs of… actually I don’t know what I could look for.

Since we don’t know who exactly is behind this, it is unfair to point fingers at our ‘enemies’ and say you have done this. Yet it is equally disconcerting and equaly painful to see the news footage of children and adults cheering the attack on us.

Yes I deliberately used the term us. not US,but us. We are us and them is the party that would dare attack us like this, on a balmy September day when no one would expect it. There are theories floating around about the significance of the date, 9,11. Or 911 as in the emergency number for the US.

I dont know if that is true or not, I am not a politico, nor am I a conspiracy theorist by nature. I am skeptical, but right now, I am appalled, afraid and bloodthirsty for those who have perished in this attack.

Finally, I can say only this: Use this tragedy wisely. Use it as a wakeup call, a call to arms to realize the threat we live under at times, and to not be complacent in our assumed saftey.

Being American is not always a good thing people. That fact alone makes us a target, murderer.thief and enslaver of the world to so many others, except us.

The mirror looks two ways, take a peek now and see who is looking at you. And realize what other people of the world may be seeing you as.

Peace and Love to all my fellow people.

Tanya

Published by cypheroftyr

Tanya DePass is the founder and Director of I Need Diverse Games, a not-for-profit organization based in Chicago, which is dedicated to better diversification of all aspects of gaming. I Need Diverse Games serves the community by supporting marginalized developers, attendance at the Game Developer Conference by participating in the GDC Scholarship program, helps assist attendance at other industry events, and is seeking partnership with organizations and initiatives. Tanya is a lifelong Chicagoan who loves everything about gaming, #INeedDiverseGames spawn point, and wants to make the industry better and more inclusive for everyone. She’s part of the Rivals of Waterdeep actual play stream on twitch.tv/rivalsofwaterdeep, a partnered Twitch variety broadcaster; and often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics online, at conventions and as a public speaker.. She’s also contributed to publications at Green Ronin, Paizo and Monte Cook Games and is the co-developer for the Fifth Season RPG based on N.K. Jemisin’s three time Hugo award winning Broken Earth trilogy. She’s the creator and Creative Director of Into the Mother Lands, a Twitch supported RPG and Actual Play stream, airing weekly on her channel, twitch.tv/cypheroftyr. Additionally, she is a Senior Annenberg labs Civic Media Fellow at USC. She’s also the creator and Creative Director of Into the Mother Lands, a new sci fi afro-futurist RPG developed with a team of all POC and Black creators; live streamed on her twitch channel, /cypheroftyr. She’s named as one of The Game Awards Future Class 2020, a diverse group of builders, thinkers and dreamers whose voices elevate and diversify our artform. It recognizes individuals around the world who represent the bright, bold and inclusive future for video games. She was also named as one of Gamers of the Year 2020 by Kotaku along with three of her contemporaries. She was also invited to the Xbox MVP program in February 2021. Her work to make the industry more inclusive has been highlighted in Game Changer, Directed by Tina Charles, WNBA star & olympian as well as filmmaker. The short documentary premiered at Tribeca 2021, as part of the Queen Collective; an initiative started by Queen Latifah, supported by Proctor & Gamble in an effort to get more Black women into film making. Game Changer was also featured as part of BETHer’s 2021 Juneteenth Programming on 19 June 2021. Tanya is the programming & diversity coordinator for OrcaCon and GaymerX. She also serves on the Board of Directors for OrcaCon and was named the Chair for Take This in January 2023. She often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics at conventions. Her writing about games and games critique appears in Uncanny Magazine, Polygon, Wiscon Chronicles, Vice Gaming, Paste Games, Mic, and other publications. She’s the editor of Game Devs and Others: Tales from the Margins (2018, CRC Press) and contributed to The Advanced Game Narrative Toolbox. (2019, CRC Press) Writer Bio for pubs: Tanya is the Founder and Director of I Need Diverse Games, a not-for-profit organization based in Chicago. She’s part of Rivals of Waterdeep, an actual play D&D show on twitch.tv/rivalsofwaterdeep; the programming coordinator for OrcaCon & GaymerX; and often speaks on issues of diversity, feminism, race, intersectionality & other topics at conventions. She’s on the Board of Take This as well as a Stream Ambassador, and was part of the inaugural cohort of The Game Awards Future Class. Her work to make the industry more inclusive has been highlighted in Game Changer, Directed by Tina Charles, WNBA star & olympian as well as filmmaker. The short documentary premiered at Tribeca 2021, as part of the Queen Collective; an initiative started by Queen Latifah, supported by Proctor & Gamble in an effort to get more Black women into film making. Game Changer was also featured as part of BETHer’s 2021 Juneteenth Programming on 19 June 2021.