…and it’s re-posted here with her permission. A thoughtful piece on bi-prejudice.
Common misconceptions regarding bisexuality which anger me greatly:
(Homosexual – gay and lesbian; “you” – a general “you” and not anyone in particular.)
You’re really homosexual but afraid to admit it.
No. If you’re saying this, you’re effectively saying that bisexuality isn’t real. People used to say, and some still do, that homosexuality doesn’t exist, and lesbians are just afraid of penises or hate men, and gay men identify with their moms too much or something. Saying that self-identified bisexuals are really something else is precisely the same as expressing those anti-homosexual opinions.
You only date other-sex people because you’re afraid of social/familiar response, so you’re really straight.
And homosexual men have married women and homosexual women have married men. It didn’t make them heterosexual. That a person may be afraid to realize their sexuality means that there’s something they’re afraid to realize, not that there isn’t such a thing.
Bisexuals are more prone to cheating. If you’re attracted to both sexes, how can you be happy with just one?
That someone is potentially attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean that the person they love has to be both. It doesn’t take a bisexual to be attracted to characteristics which cannot all exist in the same person. Put in a rather ludicrous way, how can someone who’s attracted to both blondes and redheads stay loyal? The same way.
Self-identified bi people who only date one sex, usually the other one, do it to impress people or they’re a reason for some bi people to not identify as such.
Maybe some do it to look cool, but I think a lot of them are just afraid. Just like some heterosexuals are afraid to date someone they’re attracted to but who’s of a different social class or “racial” descent, or some homosexuals end up in relationships with other-sex people or avoid relationships at all.
And how can this be a reason for bi people to not say they’re bi? Only if they’re afraid that should they say it, no one will believe it. This isn’t because of the people suppsedely giving bisexuality a bad or false name. This is because of the people who think bisexuality isn’t real, or is always some sort of remitting homosexuality. (Sometimes it is. Not always.)
And even if those closeted bi people lay the blame on the other, scared bi people… Just because someone is of a certain group doesn’t mean they’re immune to holding prejudice against it themselves, implicit or explicit. If they were, then teens and adults of minority groups wouldn’t be more prone to depression, self-harm and such.
Don’t call me anti-bi! I have bi friends!
I believe you. I believe you have bi friends, I believe that you consciously hold pro-rights views, I believe that you have and will defend bisexuals and other minorities. I really do believe that you mean no harm.
I also know that implicit prejudice is real. “Implicit prejudice” is when an opinion or a reason that at first glance appear harmless really aren’t, but express a social bias so deeply ingrained that most of us don’t notice it anymore, even those of us with the most pro-rights views and best intent. If those of us who are aware of implicit prejudices still usually possess a whole posse of them, despite our best efforts.
So, no, you shouldn’t be called anti-whatever. You really aren’t. But maybe, that isn’t what that person was telling you; maybe something you thought was innocent and unbiased really isn’t.
So please, if you’re really everything you say you are and which I think you are, consider the possibility that some of your reasoning and ideas have their roots in biased commonly accepted opinions which you just never thought to doubt.
(Yes, of course y’all may link, repost or mildly rephrase and repost.)